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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26974951">A Cage Disguised As My Body</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/B_Rabbit14/pseuds/B_Rabbit14'>B_Rabbit14</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Hunter X Hunter</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst with a Happy Ending, Body Dysphoria, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Gender Dysphoria, Gon is sad boi, Hurt/Comfort, I stan these two so bad, Killua is a good friend, Killua is here to help, Leorio is best dad, Panic Attacks, Please Be careful, Protective Killua Zoldyck, Trans Character, Trans Gon Freecs, Trans Male Character, Transphobia mention, We love that boi, you have no idea</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 21:22:13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>8,037</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26974951</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/B_Rabbit14/pseuds/B_Rabbit14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Gon glowered down at the piece of fabric that laid on his bed as if it was responsible for his current predicament. The young Hunter sighed heavily while tightening his hold on the towel that he had wrapped around himself. He could feel the disgust coiling deep within his gut the longer he stared at it but knew it couldn't be helped as he was getting older. Gon was already thirteen, so it wasn't a shocker that certain things were growing in certain areas. He had been lucky to have been able to purchase this dumb thing without Killua finding out. He just wished he could forget the clerk's expression when he'd placed his purchase on the counter.</p><p>Or Gon deals with dysphoria as he realizes his body's is growing and Killua is a good friend and helps him out.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Gon Freecs &amp; Gon Freecs' Great-Grandmother | Abe, Gon Freecs &amp; Killua Zoldyck, Gon Freecs &amp; Leorio Paladiknight, Gon Freecs &amp; Mito Freecs</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>99</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This is something I felt the urge to write and whipped up pretty quickly so here it is! Hope you enjoy!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> Gon glowered down at the piece of fabric that laid on his bed as if it was responsible for his current predicament. The young Hunter sighed heavily while tightening his hold on the towel that he had wrapped around himself. He could feel the disgust coiling deep within his gut the longer he stared at it but knew it couldn't be helped as he was getting older. Gon was already thirteen, so it wasn't a shocker that certain things were growing in certain areas. He had been lucky to have been able to purchase this dumb thing without Killua finding out. He just wished he could forget the clerk's expression when he'd placed his purchase on the counter.</p><p> </p><p>Gon ran a hand through his wet hair. He closed his eyes tightly, willing his tears to stay at bay, but it was futile. Who was he kidding? This was so stupid. Mito had always said she'd support him, and so did his Grandma Abe, but since he was so young when he'd told them it was easy to forget future problems. Such as the one that rested on the rumpled blankest in front of him. Gon didn't want to wear it, but what choice did he have? So with a shaky sigh, Gon let his towel drop the ground, taking care to not look down lest he made himself feel even worse, and raised a trembling hand to grasp the cursed undergarment.</p><p> </p><p>He briefly wondered if he was overreacting, that maybe this wasn't the big deal he was making it out to be. But Gon still couldn't deny the discomfort that nestled deeply in his chest as he pulled the sports bra over his head and secured it around his chest. It was tight but not enough to feel suffocating. No, the way his chest looked and felt so wrong was enough to stop any oxygen from entering his lungs.</p><p> </p><p>Tears sprung from Gon's eyes against his will as he pulled on a fresh pair of boxers as well as his shorts. His hands were shaking so badly he couldn't fasten the belt around his too-thin waist. With a near-silent sob, Gon fell to his knees and buried his face into his hands.</p><p> </p><p>He felt wrong all over, but there was nothing he could do about it. He couldn't bother Killua with, who knows how the other boy would react. Would he be disgusted? Would he hate Gon for having the wrong body part? Or would he be angry with Gon for lying to him?</p><p> </p><p>His jacket would thankfully cover any<em>  bumps  </em> for now, but there was no telling how long that would last. Gon's hands moved from his face to fist in his hair as another choked cry escaped him. He felt like his own body was a cage. He felt like he was trapped with no hope of escape, and it terrified him. He shouldn't feel like this, but here he was bawling like a little <em>  girl </em>. It was getting even harder to breathe, the room was spinning out of control, and he couldn't do anything to stop it.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Please... help me... </em>
</p><p> </p><p>The door was lightly kicked open in the other room, followed by a casual calling of Gon's name, but it all went over Gon's head as he fought to keep air coming into his lungs. Gon gasped harshly and pressed his back brutally against the side of the bed, trying in vain to keep himself grounded. Hurried footsteps made their way to the bedroom, and a sharp gasp rang out through the crippling noise of Gon's thoughts.</p><p> </p><p>"Gon?!" Killua cried in shock from where he stood in the doorway with wide eyes. He took in the sight of his friend, who was a gasping, sobbing mess on the floor. But what confused Killua the most was the black<em>  bra  </em>that was around Gon's chest. The young ex-assassin noticed the way Gon used a hand to pull at his damp hair and the other to cover his chest as he stared at Killua with big frightened eyes. It suddenly clicked for him. His eyes widened in shock as his brain processed the situation accurately.</p><p> </p><p>Killua held his hands out in a placating gesture while he slowly knelt in front of Gon. The boy cringed inwardly when he Gon tensed and pulled his knees close to his chest and stared at him over his knees.</p><p> </p><p>"D-don't... look a-at... it," Gon begged quietly, and Killua bit his lower lip while forcing his eyes to remain locked with Gon's. He nodded reassuringly, and Gon's eyes filled with more tears before he hid his face behind his knees. Killua sat there awkwardly for a moment, not knowing what to do before he hesitantly reached forward and placed it on Gon's shaking shoulder. The other boy froze for a moment before slowly raising his head to look at Killua again.</p><p> </p><p>"Do you want to explain?" He asked quietly, unsure of what exactly he should say but hoping Gon would tell him what was wrong. What kind of friend would he be if he let this slide after what he saw? Gon lowered his eyes and sniffled quietly, but Killua continued to wait for an answer.</p><p> </p><p>"You're n-not grossed out..?" Gon cautioned with wide eyes, and Killua couldn't stop the smile that spread across his lips.</p><p> </p><p>"Of course not, you idiot," He returned with a shake of his head, and the tension in Gon's body lessened a bit before he rested his chin on his knees and closed his eyes. "Are you okay?" A dumb question on his part, but he couldn't help but ask.</p><p> </p><p>"I'll be fine," Gon whispered and sniffled again. "So... You know now...?" He whimpered, and Killua frowned slightly.</p><p> </p><p>"I think I know, but you wanna tell me so that we're on the same page?" Killua replied gently and placed his free hand on Gon's other shoulder, hoping to help further keep Gon grounded. Gon's shoulder rose to his ears before sagging again as he let out a shaky sigh, and he nodded slightly.</p><p> </p><p>"I..." He hesitated before raising his head to look Killua in the eye. "It's a little hard to explain, but..." He steeled himself and inhaled deeply to remain steady. "I'm a boy, but... I guess I have the wrong body part, I don't know how to explain it," Gon muttered with furrowed brows, and Killua squeezed his shoulders slightly to get his attention again. "I'm a boy b-but..." His lower lip wobbled, and his eyes began to shine with more tears. "But I h-have the w-wrong body p-parts," Gon finally choked out and squeezed his eyes shut. Killua frowned in thought for a moment before deciding to speak again.</p><p> </p><p>"You're transgender?" Killua asked lightly, and Gon's eyes snapped open at his words. Gon stared at him with wide eyes before tears began to trickle down his cheeks again, and Killua absentmindedly moved to wipe them away. Gon leaned into the touch and stared at Killua with a hopeful gaze.</p><p> </p><p>"That's w-what it's called...? This i-is a real thing?" Gon asked incredulously as if he thought Killua was lying to him. Killua smiled widely and nodded in answer, holding Gon face in his hands.</p><p> </p><p>"Yup, I'm not surprised you don't know. Considering you lived on an island cut off from society," He said and laughed at Gon indignant squawk of denial. "There are usually two types of trans people. Male to female or female to male," Killua explained with a small smile as he watched Gon drink up his every word. "I'm guessing you're the latter," He raised a questioning brow. Gon nodded slowly as if in a trance. "What have you been using to bind with?" He asked, and Gon's eyes narrowed in confusion as he slowly pulled away from Killua and lowered his legs into a crisscrossed position. Killua skillfully kept his gaze on Gon's face as the other placed his hands in his lap and leaned forward with a bewildered expression.</p><p> </p><p>"What do you mean by that?" Gon quizzed with a tilt of his head, and Killua suppressed an exasperated sigh.</p><p> </p><p>"You have a lot to learn, my friend," He stated and stood from the ground while holding a hand out for Gon to take. Gon's bewildered expression stayed in place as Killua heaved him onto his feet. "Will you be okay here alone? I'm going to grab something real quick," Killua asked as he turned to the doorway. Gon's frown deepened, but he nodded nonetheless and grabbed his blank tank top and pulled it over his head. Killua smiled reassuringly before zipping out the door and ran down the hallway, pushing past the other fighters that also were staying at the Heaven's Arena.</p><p> </p><p>It wasn't long before Killua came back with a shopping bag in his hand and a bright grin on his face. Before Gon could question, anything the young Zoldyck herded him into the bathroom and instructed him to take off his shirt. Gon's stomach dropped as the nervous energy filled him once more but obliged silently and slowly pulled his shirt off before setting it on the counter.</p><p> </p><p>"Okay, now let's get that dumb thing off of you," Killua said as he moved to help take the bra off. Gon tensed and grabbed Killua's wrist before it could come in contact with the small strap. Killua blinked in surprise before looking back to Gon with an earnest expression that took Gon off guard for a moment. "Gon," He called, making the other boy jump in surprise. "Do you trust me?" He implored quietly. Gon swallowed around the lump forming in his throat as his eyes flitted to their conjoined hands to Killua's face. It should be okay, right? Killua had already stated that he wasn't disgusted by him, so what was he worried about now?</p><p> </p><p>Gon was afraid of how Killua would see him after this. If he actually caught a glimpse of his chest or, god forbid, his other parts, how would he react? He didn't want anything to change between them. That was one thing Gon was grateful for once he'd left Whale Island. It was a fresh start. No one would question his gender, and when he told them he was a boy, should he be prompted to do, they believed him. There were no questioning stares or confused remarks like when he'd first told the other villagers that he was a boy. But if Killua saw him for what he actually was, it would change how he saw him or how he treated him.</p><p> </p><p>Gon realized that Killua was still awaiting his response. He opened his mouth to reassure the other that he did trust him because he wanted to believe in Killua. But he was still afraid. Thankfully Killua noticed his hesitation and wasn't hurt by it but instead seemed to understand. He<em>  understood  </em>how Gon felt.</p><p> </p><p>"I won't stare, I promise," Killua stated and held up a hand with his pinkie extended out toward Gon. Gon looked down at it and released a wet laugh before linking his pinkie around Killua's. Killua smiled before retracting his pinkie and holding his hand out while eyeing Gon in case the other wanted to stop him again. Gon let go of Killua's wrist and looked over Killua's shoulder at the wall and nodded resolutely. Killua shook his head as well before using both hands to pull the bra over Gon's shoulders and head. Once it was off, he threw the offending undergarment over his shoulder, letting it hit the wall behind him. Gon moved his amber eyes away from where they were burning holes into the wall to Killua's face watching for any changes in his expression. Killua was staring at him with a small frown as if silently asking if he was okay. Gon nodded again and gave him a shaky smile making Killua brighten up once more.</p><p> </p><p>The light-haired male whirled around and began to fervently rampage through the shopping bag that he had brought into the bathroom as well. Gon unconsciously folded his arms over his chest while he waited for Killua to finish ravaging through the bag. Killua pulled out several pieces of clothing with a flourish and turned around with a smug grin on his face. Gon raised an eyebrow in silent question prompting Killua to explain.</p><p> </p><p>"Okay, so these are called binders. Trans men use them if they already haven't gotten top surgery or just don't want to," He began explaining while he laid out what almost looked like more bras and a few that look like tank tops. "These are safer than using ace bandages. Though you still shouldn't wear them for long periods because they can make it hard for you to breathe if you push yourself," Killua continued explaining. Gon nodded slowly, trying to keep up as he stepped forward to peer over Killua's shoulder at these so-called ''binders''. To be honest, Gon was still processing the fact that the way he felt about himself was common for some people. That he wasn't just overthinking things or being overly self-conscious about his body.</p><p> </p><p>"They all look so... different," Gon mumbled. He didn't know what else to say. There were four total, two looked like a fusion between a small tank top and a sports bra. One was black while the other way a light gray. Another one looked like a white tank top, but when Gon reached out to touch it. It felt like it was made out of the same fabric used in his swim trunks back home.</p><p> </p><p>"You can wear that one when you go swimming," Killua provided when he continued to stare at it in silent wonder. The pale boy reached over and picked up another black one and held it up for Gon to see. "This one doubles as a tank top. I thought you'd like this one better than the others. We go back to the store later and grab some more if you like these more," Killua happily explained and handed it to his friend. Gon took the binder into his hands and turned it over a few times while blinking away tears as he fumbled with how to put it on. Killua huffed out a quiet laugh before he took the binder from Gon and motioned for him to lift his arms. Gon obliged with warm cheeks as his friend helped him pull the binder on.</p><p> </p><p>Killua tugged it down and tucked it into Gon's shorts the way he'd seen Gon do to his usual tops and adjusted the upper half over Gon's chest. He stepped back with a prideful shine in his eyes. Gon looked down at his chest and squinted his eyes, making Killua cover his mouth to stifle a laugh. The silent boy slowly raised his hands to pat at his chest before snapping his head up to look up at Killua with wide eyes. Killua failed to hold in his giggles while Gon continued to pat his chest repeatedly with the look of a cat who got a hold of catnip.</p><p> </p><p>"What do you think?" Killua managed out between his giggles but fell silent when Gon looked up at him with teary eyes. Killua opened his mouth to ask what was wrong but couldn't get any words out before Gon lunged at him. Killua couldn't stop himself from toppling over, and Gon didn't seem to even notice as he continued to hug Killua tightly while stammering out his gratitude through his sobs.</p><p> </p><p>"Thankyouthnakyouthankyou," He cried repeatedly, and Killua couldn't manage a reply as he laid on the ground frozen in shock. His confusion soon melted into satisfaction, knowing that Gon was grateful and not upset with him. He slowly returned the hug while moving himself to lean against the wall so he could breathe better. Gon held onto him like a lifeline, and Killua felt happy to know that Gon was willing to confide in him with something this important. After a while, Gon finally pulled back. He looked at Killua with a big smile despite the tears that continued to stream down his cheeks. "How'd you know what to do?" He asked while wiping at his tears with one hand.</p><p> </p><p>"I know someone like you. She opened my eyes to all sorts of things like this," Killua answered and blushed when he realized that Gon was practically sitting in his lap.</p><p> </p><p>"What kind of other things?" Gon asked, and Killua smiled before moving to answer. The two boys soon moved into the bedroom and sat on the bed, talking for hours. Gon asked questions about all the different things on the 'spectrum' as Killua called it, and Killua happily obliged to explain everything he could. By the time night fell, Gon felt better than he had in years, and when he had to take off his binder before going to bed, he didn't feel so crushed when he happened to glance down at his chest. </p><p> </p><p>He felt like he'd finally found his true self, and nothing could bring down his mood for the rest of the night.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Okay, so for the reason I'm posting the anonymously is sadly because I'm afraid of certain people finding this and having to deal with the outcome of their inevitable criticism. It is not that I am ashamed of people who are trans who for writing about those who are it is really because I could get in trouble for this so... :p</p><p>I am, in fact, not trans but felt like writing something like for those who are and I apologize is some things are incorrect or sound wrong or even offend you. I'm happy with how this came out and hope you guys feel the same. </p><p>I would like to thank a dear friend for editing this. Please go check out EatTheMoon they have some pretty cool stuff!</p><p>Thanks for reading and don't forget to drop a comment!</p><p>EDIT: I finally got the courage to claim my work, I think it's safe for me to do so.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. A Bad Week</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hope you enjoy this one! I might make one or two more with Gon coming out to Leorio and possibly Kurapika so look forward to that!</p><p>Slight warning for what I think could be considered as transphobia or just a person being flat out rude.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> Killua yawned as he exited the bathroom while rubbing his eyes. He had slept in pretty late, which was a bit odd since arriving at Gon's home island. The older boy had excitedly woken him up a little after the break of dawn, eager to show him all Whale Island had to offer. When Killua first woke up, he noticed he was alone in the room. Gon's bed was still a mess with all his blankets bunched up against the wall, signaling he'd gotten up. Killua wondered why Gon hadn't woken him up as well but quickly brushed his worry aside. They had stayed up pretty late the night before, so maybe Gon was just being considerate.</p><p>As he walked further down the hall, he heard the clanking of dishes from downstairs and decided to head into the kitchen to see if Mito had made breakfast yet. Peeking around the corner, he was greeted with the sight of the young woman dancing around the kitchen as she prepared the food with practiced ease. For a moment, Killua watched from the doorway. It was strange to see something that was so normal but feel so mesmerized by the simplicity of it all. Mito slowed her pace as if sensing his silent gaze and looked up with a smile when she directed her gaze to Killua. The young male slightly stiffened before giving her a soft smile.</p><p> "I see you boys slept in today," Mito said as she returned to stirring something that was simmering on the stove. Killua nodded before her words hit him, and he blinked in confusion.</p><p> "Wait, Gon isn't up yet?" He asked with a raised brow, and Mito glanced back at him with a small frown.</p><p> "No, was he not in his room?" Killua shook his head. Mito softly hummed as she set the wooden spoon on the counter before turning to face Killua and leaned against the counter. "You checked the bathroom?"</p><p> "I just came from there," He answered and turned to look back the way he came. "Maybe he fell off the bed or something. I'll go check again," He said, and Mito nodded. Killua turned and took the stairs two at a time before stopping in the open doorway of Gon's bedroom. He scanned the room taking in the rumpled futon and blankets from where he'd laid the night before. He looked at Gon's bed and frowned when he stared at the still empty sheets, but something caught his eye, and he cursed himself for not looking closer before. The bundle of blankets that had been pushed against the wall was slowly moving as if someone was breathing.</p><p>Killua slapped his palm against his forehead and cursed his stupidity and for worrying over nothing. But soon, that thought went out the window when the bundle groaned. The sound was small, but one could hear the pain in it, which was what spurred Killua to rush to the bedside and crawl slowly to his buried friend. Reaching out his hand slowly, Killua poked where he assumed Gon's head would be and was rewarded with a high-pitched whine.</p><p> "Gon?" Killua asked, trying to mask the worry in his tone with annoyance. Gon shuffled a bit and whimpered, making Killua's frown deepen. He gently pulled at the blanket, but Gon held tighter and curled into himself more with a quiet moan. "Do you feel sick? Should I get your aunt?" Killua asked as panic bled into his tone, and he moved to get off the bed, but Gon's hand crept out of the pile of sheets and grabbed the hem of his tank top, holding him in place.</p><p> "I'm not sick," Came a muffled sentence followed by a sniffle. Killua sat back on the bed and moved to pull the covers away once more. This time Gon let him but still curled into himself while hugging his middle as Killua took the blanket from him.</p><p> "What's wrong, then?"</p><p> "Hurts."</p><p> "What does?" Killua asked and bent down to look at Gon's face, but the other stubbornly hid his face into the bedspread beneath him. Gon curled even tighter, trying to make himself seem small enough to disappear, and mumbled something Killua couldn't catch. He leaned further down with a hand over his ear and a raised brow. "What was that?" Gon didn't respond for a moment, and if it weren't for the way his body was still stubbornly tense, he'd have thought the smaller boy had fallen asleep.</p><p> "Cramps," Gon grumbled softly. Killua blinked in confusion before it suddenly clicked, and he made a soft 'oh' sound under his breath before leaning back and nodding slowly. It was silent for a minute, aside from Gon's occasional shifting and quiet sounds of pain.</p><p> "Do you..." Killua hesitated, not knowing what he should be doing? He'd never dealt with this sort of thing before. "Do you need anything...?" He asked softly and waited quietly for Gon to reply. To his surprise, Gon slightly uncurled from his fetal position and blinked blearily at Killua past the strands of hair that had fallen into his eyes. Killua stared back while holding his breath, hoping he hadn't offended Gon.</p><p> "Aunt Mito has painkillers downstairs. If you ask her and tell her they are for me, she'll know why," Gon instructed softly before laying his head down with his face facing the rest of the room instead of being buried into the sheets. Killua nodded and quickly stood before leaving the room. </p><p>Like Gon had said, Mito knew what was wrong almost immediately when Killua asked for the pills and got them quickly for Killua to take back upstairs. Before he left the kitchen, she stopped him and gave him a water bottle as well as a small sack that emitted steam from where it hung from her hand. Killua was confused but took it anyways and trotted back to Gon's room, not noticing the smile Mito wore as he turned his back to her.</p><p> "Here," He softly called, as he entered the room again. Gon was sitting up now and had claimed the blanket once more by wrapping up in it and leaning against the wall. He took the pills silently, and Killua handed the small sack to him. "I'm not sure what this is, but she said to give this to you as well," Killua looked away with pink cheeks. He scowled when Gon giggled quietly before taking the warm bag and pressing it firmly under his stomach and sighing deeply. Killua raised a brow in silent questioning while still eyeing the bag. "Is it supposed to help?" Killua asked and leaned back on his hands while Gon nodded.</p><p> "It's a rice sack. Aunt Mito told me it was a trick to help with cramps and sore muscles," Gon explained as he closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the wall again. "They're not hard to make. You can use a sock if you really need to. Just pour the rice in and heat it for a minute or two," Killua nodded, finding the information interesting and perhaps useful in the future. It was silent for a few minutes, and Killua opted to stare at the ceiling before Gon caught his attention again. "Thank you," He suddenly said, and Killua blinked dumbly before lifting his head to stare at Gon fully. Gon was staring at him now and had a small smile playing on his lips as his amber eyes gaze fondly into Killua's own.</p><p> "Stupid," Killua grumbled and crossed his arms over his chest while glaring at the bed beneath him. "What are you thanking me for?" Gon only laughed in response and fell forward, letting his face press into the sheets right in front of where the other boy sat. He hugged his middle tighter and sighed heavily, making Killua frown.</p><p> "Thank you," He repeated.</p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span> They didn't do much for the rest of the day. Gon said something about how the first day was always the worst for him. Killua didn't complain. While it was a bit more boring this way, he didn't mind spending the day inside with Gon. They helped Mito with small chores throughout the day before settling down in the den. Gon had created a near-literal dome around him made out of any blankets or spare quilts the house had to offer. It was a wonder he wasn't sweating like crazy under all of them. Killua sat next to him with a book while Gon dozed off.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Killua was nearing the book's climax when a sudden weight landed on his shoulder, startling him back to reality. A glance to his right showed Gon's head was resting on his shoulder while the tired boy snored softly. Killua gently shrugged his shoulder, making Gon startle awake and blink at him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span> "Killuaaa..." He groaned and leaned into Killua's side again, making the pale boy tense and whirl around with wide eyes and a sharp remark on the tip of his tongue. Whatever he might've said never made it up to his throat as his words failed him when Gon pulled his arms free from his blanket fortress and threw them over Killua's shoulders.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span> "Gon! W-what are you-"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span> "Killuaaa... I want hugs..." Gon grumbled and squeezed tighter knocking the breath from Killua's lungs and causing his cheeks to turn bright red. What made things worse was at that exact moment Mito walked in. Killua couldn't cover his face on account that his arms were pinned at his sides and thus like out a small groan of embarrassment when the older female laughed behind her hand.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span> "I suppose neither of us mentioned Gon's quite clingy during this time of the month," She teased. This action made Killua blush even more and Gon to quietly groan again. Gon's grandmother entered from the kitchen and smiled mirthfully at what was laid before her. Gon looked up at her arrival and let go of Killua quickly before approaching the old woman as she sat on a rocking chair. The young boy knelt down in front of her and wrapped his arms around her small frame. He didn't say anything as he did so. Killua watched Abe return the affection and patted Gon's back lovingly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span> "It's quite strange," The old woman quietly mused while smoothing down Gon's bedhead with a fond smile. "Most times, people don't like being touched during this," Killua blushed at her words, not expecting the statement. Though he couldn't help the relief that flooded him at the way she worded her sentence. Before coming here, especially after just finding out about Gon, he had been worried about how the Freeccs would treat Gon. They obviously knew about it already, but that wouldn't stop them from criticizing his friend or straight up, not listening to how he felt and continuing to address him wrong. Killua knew how easy that was. He'd seen it happen before. He never wanted to witness something like it again, especially not when the treatment would be directed at Gon.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span> "Grandma..." Gon groaned in embarrassment, causing Killua to smile just a little. He was glad he wasn't only affected by the old woman's words. Gon let go of her just as she smiled at him innocently. Gon sat on the floor, letting his hand back and making eye contact with Killua.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span> "Why don't you two head over to the market? I need a few things for dinner," Mito suddenly asked, and Gon frowned before opening his mouth to respond, but the young woman cut him off quickly. "You've cooped Killua up inside all day. That isn't fair to him," Gon blinked and glanced at Killua before nodding.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span> "I-it's okay, I don't mind," Killua rushed to say while Gon stood and grabbed his wrist before pulling him up from the couch.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span> "No, she's right. I'm sorry, Killua," Gon replied as he led the young Zoldyck towards the front hall while using his free hand to brush his hair up and away from his eyes. He only let go to retrieve their shoes and grab the list Mito made. Killua sighed and slipped his shoes onto his clothed feet before waiting for Gon to lace up his boots.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span> "You sure you're okay enough to go?" He found himself asking, and Gon smiled at him as he rose to his full height with a soft grunt.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span> "It's fine. It seems to be gone for the most part right now. Besides, it's not like I'm dying or anything," Gon returned and reached for the doorknob before twisting it and swinging the door open.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span> "That's not what you were saying earlier," He retorted with a small smile, and Gon laughed for a moment.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span> "That's because I was, but I'm fine now," Gon said with a bright smile, but Killua's gut dropped, and his eyes widened.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span> "Wait! You were</span>
  <em>
    <span> really </span>
  </em>
  <span>dying?!" He yelled, and Gon winced before staring at him for a moment of disbelief and laughing loudly again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span> "N-no," Gon wheezed and clutched his middle as he dangerously rocked on his feet. "I wasn't dying for real!" He informed him, and Killua's face began to burn as his blush returned with a vengeance.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span> "W-well, how was I supposed to know! Stupid!" He said as he shoved Gon weakly. The other boy continued to giggle. Their banter drifted along with the winds that softly rolled through the hills, making their way to the market. </span>
</p><hr/><p>
  <span> Gon surveyed the tomatoes with slanted eyes, trying to find the perfect ones. Killua said he was taking forever, but he knew his friend didn't understand the importance of this. Maybe his aunt had rubbed off on him growing up, but the fact still stands that he really was a stickler when it came to buying produce.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span> "What about this one?" Killua asked for what felt like the hundredth time and held up one of the red fruits. Gon took it into his hands and turned it over gently while feeling its surface. Eventually, he gave a satisfactory nod causing Killua to sigh in relief before holding out the basket for Gon to place it inside.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span> "That should be enough," Gon stated, and Killua nodded before situating the basket in his hands. They walked through the market, peering into different stands while keeping an eye out for what was left on the list.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span> "Hey, Gon," Killua pointed over to a stand a few paces away. "Are carrots on the li-"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span> "Gaia?!" A female voice interrupted, causing both boys to jump and turn to face the owner. A few feet away from them stood a girl who looked to be about Kurpika's age with light brown hair pulled up into a bun and striking violet eyes. Her skin was a sunkissed tan that was hardly covered by her short skirt and tank top. She waved wildly at them, causing Killua to look at his friend in confusion with a question at the ready but stopped short when he saw Gon's pensive expression.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span> "Gon?" Killua mumbled, and his friend glanced at him before turning back to the girl who was approaching with a wide grin. Gon's face split into a grin that didn't quite reach his eyes, causing Killua to frown even more.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span> "Alisa," Gon greeted as she came close enough. "You mixed up my name again," He pointed out, and the girl's smile fell a little as she looked Gon up and down.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span> "I see you're still going through your ''phase''," She commented flippantly with a wave of her hand. "You know, guys would like you more if you dressed more feminine or at least let your hair grow out some," The girl went on, and with each word that left her mouth, Gon's brow furrowed, and Killua's glare darkened. Killua opened his mouth to snap at her but was cut off when Gon sighed. He gave her a wan smile as if he'd heard this before.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span> "I've told you before it's not a phase, this is how I choose to present myself, and I would prefer it if you would at least </span>
  <em>
    <span>try</span>
  </em>
  <span> to address me right," Gon relayed, causing the girl to scoff and put a hand on her hip.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span> "If you say so, I make no promises. I've known you ever since you were younger, so it's kinda hard to see you as a boy," Killua watched Gon wince and felt something snap.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span> "Listen, lady!" He shouted, causing both Gon and Alisa to jump and look at him with wide eyes. "It doesn't matter how it makes you feel if Gon wants to be referred to as a boy, then you need to refer to him as a boy! Stop being a selfish prick and consider how he feels before spouting off your bullshit!" He finished, pointing his finger angrily in her direction. He had thoughts about killing her but reminded himself that he was past that. Gon wouldn't approve of killing someone for his sake. That's just how Gon was.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span> "And who are you, brat?" She snapped and took a threatening step forward. Killua scoffed and stepped forward as well, glaring daggers at the bitch.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span> "None of your business," He spat and glared up at her, wondering if he could at least get in a punch before taking Gon and leaving. He felt a hand on his shoulder and snapped his gaze over to Gon, who still wore a frown. The dark-haired boy shook his head before taking Killua's free hand into his own and squeezing. If Killua wasn't boiling with rage, he would've felt a little embarrassed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span> "I'm sorry, Alisa," Gon said, but his tone was more somber than it was apologetic. "It was nice to see you again, but we need to get going," He said. He began to gently pull Killua in the direction the pale boy pointed before their encounter.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span> "Wait, Gon-"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span> "It's okay, Killua," He mumbled as they walked away. The two of them quickly finished getting the rest of the items on the list and returned to the house within the next half hour. As they sat back down in the living room, a tense silence surrounded them. Unsurprisingly Killua was the one to break it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span> "Are you okay?" He asked quietly, not moving his gaze from where he stared resolutely at the wall in front of them. Gon glanced at him from the corner of his eye before sighing and leaning back against the cushions.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span> "Yeah," Gon replied softly and pulled his knees close to his chest. "She's always been like that. I'm used to it,"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span> "You shouldn't have to be," Killua scoffed and turned to face his friend with a sour expression. Gon blinked in surprise at his words before a small smile bloomed on his face, and he leaned his head on Killua's shoulder again. This time Killua let him with minimal complaints and huffed a short sigh before resting his head on top of Gon's</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span> "Thanks, Killua."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span> "Idiot, don't thank me," He scoffed with red cheeks causing Gon to giggle quietly.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I love me some protective Killua, don't ya'll?</p><p>Is it just me are are there other people out there who crave physical comfort when on their monthly? lol Sorry if that was weird I thought it would be sweet to put in here so I did! I'm really enjoying writing scenarios for this. None of it will be terribly angsty but it will have its moments. I made this as a break from some of my more serious works and don't want to make it too depressing.</p><p>Drop a comment if you liked it! Thanks for reading!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Come Out Now, The Closet's Dark.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Like the chapter title? I'm so clever I know. XD</p><p>Enjoy the new chapter! ~</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> Leorio yawned and moved around the hotel room with one thing on his mind. Coffee. Ever since meeting up with Gon and Killua again, things had been pretty hectic. Not that he'd mind much, it was a nice break from staring at books all day long, but it did take its toll. Another yawn left him as he walked past the room Gon and Killua claimed but stopped when he heard a muffled groan from inside. It sounded like Gon. He stopped for a moment, and after a minute of some silent debating, he decided to see what the problem is. Peering through the small crack between the door and the doorway, Leorio searched for the source of the quiet sound of distress.</p><p>He could see the tips of Gon's spiky hair from where he looked to be seated on the ground in between the two beds. Leorio caught the sound of another muffled groan before Gon's hair disappeared, and a small thud followed as well as a quiet yelp. Leorio's concern outweighed his sense of caution, and he found himself pushing the door quick enough to allow it to bang lightly against the wall. The tall male rounded the bed with questions on the tip of his tongue. His words fell short when he spotted Gon on the floor with a black cloth tangled tightly around his shoulders that forced his arms to fold awkwardly over his head. His amber eyes peered over the article of clothing fearfully, making Leorio regret barging in as he did.</p><p>He wasn't expecting to have found something like this and was quite surprised, but he hated the look Gon was giving him. The kid looked like he would shatter should he say the wrong thing, making Leorio bite the inside of his cheek and curse himself mentally. He slowly raised his hands in a placating gesture before slowly kneeling in front of Gon, who had yet to move or speak in any way since he'd arrived. Gon watched him like a cornered animal and would probably bolt if he were able to but looked willing to hear Leorio out.</p><p> "Hey, man," Leorio started to say and forced a small smile onto his face hoping it would put Gon at ease. When Gon didn't reply, he decided to keep going. "Need some help there?" He asked as his eyes flitted to the binder around Gon's shoulders, then back to the small boy's face, careful not to stare, knowing Gon wouldn't like that very much. Gon stared at him for a moment longer before nodding- well as best as he could. Leorio's smile widened into a more genuine one, and he reached out, helping Gon sit up first before gently tugging the binder down and smoothing it down completely. Gon smoothed down the fabric over his chest and patted it once before moving his gaze up to his older friend.</p><p> "Thanks..." He said and looked down at his hands while fiddling with the ends of his shorts. Leorio chuckled before placing a hand on Gon's shoulder, causing the smaller look back up at him. Leorio hated the silent fear that resided in Gon's usually bright eyes. He hated seeing that expression on the kid and hoped he didn't screw up trying to say the right thing.</p><p> "No problem," The man said and ruffled Gon's hair affectionately. He retracted his hand, and silence befell them for a moment. "Gon, I-" He hesitated, trying to gather his words, and Gon stared at him with fearful anticipation. "Listen, I'm sorry for barging in like that. I just got worried thinking you were hurt because I heard you grunting and just-" He sighed and ran a hand through his hair roughly. "I'm rambling," He stated plainly with a chuckle, but Gon didn't laugh and stared at him with slowly furrowing brows. "You don't have to be scared. I'm not angry or disgusted," Gon flinched subtly, and Leorio knew he must have read Gon's mind. "You're scared, and that's okay. Coming out is a scary thing, and I shouldn't have found out like this, but that's okay. You want to know why?" He waited for Gon to nod before proceeding. "I'm going to support you, either way, I don't care if you want me to call you a boy or girl or neither. You're still my friend, and it's my job to support whatever decision you come to," He answered.</p><p>Gon's eyes grew glassy, and Leorio feared he may have caused the kid to cry. Gon just blinked rapidly for a few moments before rubbing his eyes with the back of his forearm. Leorio watched with bated breath for Gon to look at him again, and when the small boy, did he was smiling softly. His eyes held so much relief and joy, Leorio couldn't help the grin that spread along his face as well. What took the larger male by surprise was when Gon launched himself into his middle and wrapped his skinny arms around it. Leorio let out a startled laugh before returning the hug and holding Gon close. He knew how important this meant to the kid in his arms and was glad he helped in some way, however insignificant it may turn out to be.</p><p> "Thanks," Gon said for the second time and pulled back enough to smile up at Leorio brightly. The older nodded, glad that Gon was feeling calmer now.</p><p> "Anytime, little man," He ruffled Gon's hair again and laughed at the other's small noise of complaint. "You just let me know if you need help with anything in the future, okay? Don't be afraid to ask. I want to help," He stated, and Gon stared at him in awe as if he couldn't believe what he was hearing. </p><p>Leorio hated that it was common for people in Gon's type of situation to feel like this and vowed to beat down anyone he caught making Gon feel bad in the future. Well, before Killua skinned them, there was no doubt in his mind that the other young male knew about this and was just as protective on the subject. He smiled later on during the day as he watched Gon pick up an antique gun that could've been possibly loaded, peering into the barrel. Killua simply pushed it away from his face without even looking up from where he was sifting through a box of old trinkets. He was glad to know that even when he wasn't around, the two of them had each other to watch over themselves.</p><hr/><p><br/> Killua eyed the Spider in front of them with calculating eyes. He couldn't help but want to blame himself for getting both Gon and himself caught. He sighed bitterly and raked a hand harshly through his hair and glanced over to Gon, who had his back pressed against the wall with his hand over his chest, squeezing the fabric of his jacket tightly. He must be as worried as Killua was considering their situation, but that thought didn't sit right with Killua. Gon wasn't afraid like he was. His earlier reactions proved as much. Killua's blue eyes bore into his friend's form and observed his body language closely.  Then the sound hit him. His thoughts had been too loud to hear much of anything else before. But now that he'd taken a moment to shut them out, he could hear faint wheezing coming from his friend, which instantly instilled worry in him. Killua's white curls bounced as his head whirled to face Gon, quickly causing the other to snap his gaze to him. Killua scooted over and leaned over so Gon could hear him.</p><p> "You need to take it off. It's been over nine hours," Killua whispered. Gon tensed and crossed his arms over his chest firmly while keeping his eyes stubbornly on the wall in front of them ignoring, both Killua's worried gaze and Nobunaga's raised brow. Killua placed a hand on Gon's shoulder while heaving a sigh. "You can't breathe," The ex-assassin stated plainly, and Gon's lips pursed while his eyes narrowed with annoyance.</p><p> "I'm fine," Gon hissed weakly. Killua shook his head, being able to see through Gon's lie as if his words were transparent.</p><p> "I'll cover you," Killua offered softly, and Gon finally looked at him but quickly let his eyes fall to his lap. "Your jacket will cover them enough, right?" Gon's brow furrowed, and his frown deepened. His amber eyes flitted to the man still seated by the door before and held his gaze stubbornly.</p><p> "I won't look," The samurai's deep voice suddenly rumbled, causing Killua to slightly jump and glance back at him with narrowed eyes. Nobunaga met Killua's glare with lidded eyes before looking back to Gon again. "It's none of my business," He stated and closed his eyes while letting his head lean back against the door he sat in front of. Gon stared at him with distrust before looking back to Killua, who, in turn, stood over Gon while facing the other male present. Soft shuffling resounded within the room, followed by a small relieved sigh and more rustling. Killua felt Gon tug on the hem of his shorts, signaling he was finished. The pale boy turned around. Gon was leaning against the wall with his arms tightly crossed over his chest again. There was an annoyed expression on his face. He must have folded up the binder and shoved it into one of his pockets because it was nowhere to be seen. Killua huffed quietly and plopped back down on the chunk of cement, and they fell into a tense silence once more.</p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span> Gon sat down on his bed, eyeing the suit he'd taken off a few hours ago with a deep frown. It was one of those moments again, the one that crept up on him throughout the day before slamming down on his mind the second he got a minute alone. When this happened, it was because he was worrying over something or another, this time, it was something he hadn't taken the time to think about before.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span> "What will Ging think when he sees me?" He asked quietly, keeping his eyes downcast. Killua, who had been nearly dozing next to him, suddenly straightened to attention and blinked silently at Gon.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span> "What's that supposed to mean?" Killua snorted softly, and Gon shrugged before gesturing to himself.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span> "Look at me, Killua," Gon said with shame littering his words. Ging left his </span>
  <em>
    <span>daughter</span>
  </em>
  <span> at Whale Island," Gon whispered and pulled his legs up to his chest. "How he going to feel when a </span>
  <em>
    <span>boy</span>
  </em>
  <span> shows up in her place?" He choked out and hid his face in his crossed arms.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span> "Gon," Killua said his name firmly, but Gon didn't bother raising his head. "Your douchebag of a dad didn't care before, and I don't expect him to start anytime soon. I think the least of his worries are going to be what gender you are. He'll probably be more worried about how the hell you managed to find his cryptid ass," Killua said and placed a hand on his friend's shoulder. Gon slowly raised his head and looked up at the pale boy with glassy eyes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span> "He didn't want me before, so what if this makes him really hate me?" He inquired in a small voice.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span> "He won't hate you," Killua denied but continued with a finger pointed at Gon's forehead. "Besides, you don't need that ass's approval when you got me and Leorio to back you up. I'll tear his throat out right after Leorio punches his ugly mug if he tries anything." Killua boasted, causing Gon to let out a startled laugh making Killua smile softly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span> "Please don't," Gon giggled, and Killua shrugged helplessly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span> "I make no promises, man," He stated, and Gon laugh again before moving to change into his nightclothes. They spent the rest of the night talking about their plans to develop their hatsu and fell asleep soon after.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Ging is no longer Gon's dad, Leorio has taken the title for himself as he should.</p><p>I wanted to include Kurapika but couldn't fine a way to fit him in. Sadly.... :( Oh well, maybe next chapter! I may or may not make another one, if you guys have any ideas or scenarios you'd like to see me include please don't hesitate to drop a comment. I'll be sure to credit you if I use one. </p><p>Please, I'll take any ideas(as long as they're not stupid), I'm not ready to let this work go yet. XD</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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